


Dancing with a Stranger

by miyassam



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hurt, Inner Dialogue, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, Sad Miya Atsumu, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:07:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26167654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miyassam/pseuds/miyassam
Summary: Atsumu can’t deal with this sober.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Kudos: 19





	Dancing with a Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> Right that was a useless summary I know I'm sorry.  
> This is based on Sam Smith's song, Dancing with a Stranger.  
> Enjoy my first one shot hope you will appreciate it.

**_🎶_ ** **_I don't wanna be alone tonight_ **

**_It's pretty clear that I'm not over you_ ** **_🎶_ **

How long has it been? How many days? Weeks? Months?

Right.  
Two months. It’s been two months since I last saw you.

Two months since I heard you say sorry. But why were you the one saying sorry? I was the one who took you for granted and boy am I fucking regretting it big time. I can still remember what happened that day like it just happened hours ago. The way you cried, the way you let your heart out broken and vulnerable, the way you tell me that this was hard for you. That letting go was hard for you. You were hurting but you were the one who still said sorry. You were always selfless like that and that’s one of the reasons why I love you….

…..and maybe ….. also the reason why I took you for granted. I stood there in silence and realized how selfish I became and that realization is too fucking late because you already left.

Now that I’m alone for months, I realized how many times I let you down. I laughed bitterly and drink my fifth beer in can. I was seated beside the bed, I can’t make myself sleep in our bed because it only reminds me of you and your warmth. Yeah right “our bed” …

But not anymore…..

_“I’m sorry Shoyou…”_

_“I really am…”_

**_🎶_ ** **_I'm still thinking 'bout the things you do_ **

**_So I don't wanna be alone tonight, alone tonight, alone tonight_ ** **_🎶_ **

I wonder if you’re also thinking of me. Because I’m always thinking of you. Every. Damn. Time.

I’m always thinking if you’re taking care of yourself, what you’re doing or…...who you were with. Thinking of you with somebody else pains me emotionally and physically.

I tried checking all of your social medias to know what you’re doing or who you were with right now but nothing. Not knowing anything on what’s happening to you is fucking torture.

I wanted to call you or message you. I wanted to do it so bad it’s driving me crazy. But Shouyo, my sweet Shouyo, knowing you, you’re going back to my arms forgetting yourself again and I can’t do that to you. I can’t be selfish anymore knowing that you’re doing your best out there and healing. After realizing how selfish I became this is the only thing I could do for you.

and that is to set you free …

even if it breaks my heart into a million pieces …

**_🎶_ ** **_Look what you made me do,_ ** **_🎶_ ** ****

_“Fuck I can’t deal any of this shit sober”_ I slowly get up and went outside. My life has been shit ever since you left and the only coping mechanism my sorry ass could do is go to bars and get shit faced. Pathetic I know, but what can I do? All I can do is get drunk to at least forget him and his endearing smile and even more endearing personality. His bright personality that can tame anyone, his lovely gestures, cute mannerisms……I stopped thinking right there it will only lead me into more memories of him.

_“haaa fuck I really need a fucking drink”_

**_🎶_ ** **_I'm with somebody new_ **

**_Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger_ ** **_🎶_ **

Two months, I’ve been doing this for two months. Get drunk till I can’t remember shit the next day. Sometimes I get too drunk that I woke up to an unknown place, unknown bed and beside a stranger saying that I keep saying a different name last night.

But even after all that, even after forgetting you almost every night. When I wake up the next day, I can’t help but hope that once I open my eyes I’ll see your sleeping face again. That serene face that will always calm me even at my worst times. I miss hearing your light snores every morning, I miss touching your hair while I watch you sleep peacefully, I miss the way your hands wrapped around me every morning and most of all I miss your _good mornings_ , kisses and cuddles.

but that will not happen anymore…..

****

**_Dancing with a stranger …_ **

****

**_🎶_ ** **_I wasn't even goin' out tonight_ **

**_But, boy, I need to get you off of my mind_ ** **_🎶_ **

I’m always thinking of random things to get you out of my mind. Well fucking surprise, it always fails. All the things I’m thinking were always related to you. Every corner of this apartment is filled with a memory of you. Fuck I can remember a memory of you with everything in this apartment. Sometimes when I can’t take it, I’m attempted to burn everything in this apartment just to forget you.

But I can’t, because these are the only things left that is related to you. I can’t lose my only connection to you.

 **_🎶_ ** **_I know exactly what I have to do_ **

**_I don't wanna be alone tonight, alone tonight, alone tonight_ ** **_🎶_ **

**_🎶_ ** **_Look what you made me do, I'm with somebody new_ **

**_Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger_ ** **_🎶_ **

As I entered the bar, I can already smell the sweat and different perfumes from people. Your soft smell suddenly flashed in my mind but quickly distract myself and continued walking straight to the bartender.

The bartender looked at me already knowing my poison. I went here too often that I could tell the bartender somewhat knows I’m a pathetic brokenhearted man who drowns himself in alcohol to forget everything.

 **_🎶_ ** **_Look what you made me do, I'm with somebody new_ **

**_Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger_ ** **_🎶_ **

_“Hey, you alone?”_ an unfamiliar voice said not soft as your voice, but it will do for tonight.

It’s only been a few minutes, but this stranger already has his hands tangled in my body like a snake. The way this stranger roam his hands on my body gives me shivers but not in a good way, but I let him anyway and just continued drinking. I’m disgusted to his touches, but this is better than me remembering the feel of your body against mine. This is better than remembering your soft touches. This is better than realizing that I’ll never feel that soft hands on my body ever again. This is better than me remembering all that and ending up broken again

and again

and again.

 _“Pathetic”_ my mind thought cruelly

_“sorry what was that?”_

Oh right I have company. I’m not aware I said that out loud but did not bother answering him.

 _“hmmm let’s dance handsome”_ the stranger pulled me up on my seat and led me into the dancefloor. He keeps on grinding himself on my body, swaying in the crowd. If I came out as stiff as wood against his swaying body he didn’t say anything and I don’t give a fuck either so it’s cool. As we keep on grinding in the middle, my mind drifted off _again_ to somewhere. 

****

**_Dancing with a stranger… …_ **

His body is against mine and I can’t help myself but compare. It’s rough, wild, careless very far from your energetic but precise movements, strong but also delicate. 

I’m holding his hands but it’s not as soft as yours.

Not as gentle…

Not as warm …

Not enough …

**_Dancing with a stranger… …_ **

I’m taller than him and his hair is touching my face and it felt sticky and hard unlike your hair which feels fluffy and smells heavenly like lavender which I love nuzzling my face into.

**_Dancing, yeah, ooh… …_ **

I’m looking at his face but my mind seems to not register his features. Ah his eyes you have the same color of eyes, but not as bright as yours.

Not as beautiful as yours…

Not as expressive as yours….

**_🎶_ ** **_Look what you made me do (ooh), I'm with somebody new_ **

**_Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger_ ** **_🎶_ **

The stranger grabbed me suddenly and pulled me in a kiss. It was rough, sloppy, and unwelcome, but my pathetic self thought that this is the only way and did not bother to push him away. Even if this is a different person I can’t help but still remember you.

Shouyo am I too selfish if I want to imagine that the one I’m holding right now is you?

Am I too selfish if I want to imagine that the one I’m kissing right now is you?

Can I still love you even if you already let go?

Because fucking hell, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you even from afar.

I’m a selfish bastard so just let me yeah?

_“Hey you’re distracted.”_

I laughed bitterly and just kiss the asshole again. Right I remember I’m here to forget everything God I really am pathetic.

 **_🎶_ ** **_Look what you made me do, I'm with somebody new_ **

**_Ooh, baby, baby, I'm dancing with a stranger_ ** **_🎶_ **

Don’t think of anything…

**_I'm dancing … I'm dancing …_ **

Don’t think of him…

**_I'm dancing, … I'm dancing…_ **

Forget everything…

**_I'm dancing, … I'm dancing …_ **

Forget him…

**_I'm dancing, … …_ **

I lost my everything…

**_I'm dancing_ **

I lost him…

_“Shouyo… I miss you … ”_

_“I miss you so bad … … … that it hurts”_

**Author's Note:**

> uhh I'm awkward at writing so if you have time you can leave comments :).


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